And now she’s a month old. I intended to post a blog about her birth much sooner. Then time just got away from me. Babies have a way of doing that!

A few lessons and observations:

* Finding a way to distract oneself from the discomfort of early labor is a good idea. We went to the theater to see “Hunger Games” the Saturday night before Dani was born and now I will forever associate the movie with contractions.

* The pain of labor is pretty much forgotten the minute the doctor puts the baby on your chest.

* The first couple nights at home are hard. Really hard. The cocktail of hormones, sleep deprivation and emotions is intense and overwhelming. I’m not sure who cried more the first night at home: me or Danielle.

* After our second night at home, I told my sister and mom that the night went much better and I felt more refreshed because I had gotten a 3-hour stretch of sleep. I never would have predicted that I’d deem 3 hours of sleep to be a great thing at any other time in my life.

* They say to sleep when the baby sleeps. This sounds simple enough. Except (especially in the first week at home) there are all those other things like, say, eating, showering, hosting visitors, making doctor’s appointments for both me and baby, navigating and filing all the insurance paperwork that must be handled promptly, tending to postpartum recovery treatments, doing loads upon loads of laundry to keep up with baby’s many outfit, blanket, sheet and burp cloth needs, etc…

* Anything remotely tender or heartfelt can set off a flood of tears these days. I turned into a blubbering fool when my father-in-law asked me the simple question: “How does it feel to be a mother?” There’s the same effect with most baby books I read to Danielle — “I love you through and through” and “Miss Rumphius” are the latest to get me choked up.

* I never before noticed how squeaky and creaky our wood floors are. The effect is most pronounced when tip-toeing from one room to the next carrying a finally-sleeping baby from her rocker to her bassinet at 4:50 a.m.

* I didn’t realize how many meals I would eat (scarf?) standing in the kitchen wondering how many more minutes (seconds?) I would have until my services were demanded by my miniature dictator.

* Luke and I share so many laughs over Danielle. (We assure her that we’re laughing with her, not at her.) She makes the funniest little noises, especially the chorus of grunts, snorts and squeaks when she’s sleeping.

* When you reach your early 30s, Facebook truly becomes Babybook. It’s a great way to ooh and ahh over friends’ adorable little ones, but I have also found it makes me insecure at times. Everyone else’s baby looks like a perfect angel. Then I remind myself that I, too, only post the cute photos. Who posts a photo of a fussy baby grimacing with a tummy ache?

* The pictures on baby bath tubs and bath products show smiling babies, presumably cooing, as their mommy gently and unhurriedly dabs at them with a washcloth. None show a baby screaming her head off, writhing and arching her back, her whole body beet red.

* They say it’s good to let a baby air dry a bit between diaper changes. On the occasion I do this — even if it’s just for one minute — she will decide to go during this undiapered minute, invariably.

* In a related note, I didn’t realize just how many diapers newborns go through! As a rookie, I would jump up to change diapers immediately, leading to our record for back-to-back diaper changes (those necessitated mid-diaper change) to 4.

* My new mantra: Try, try again. Danielle rejected both swaddles and pacifiers at first but is coming around on both. The swaddle — or straightjacket as we call it — is the trick to getting her to stop thrashing and flailing her arms and legs when she’s overtired but all worked up at night.

* A sweet little cuddle any time of day makes my heart melt. Those cuddles also make it somehow OK to be awake between 2 and 4 a.m.

* Watching Luke dance around the room with Dani to Selena Gomez and One Direction songs also melts my heart.

… Now I’m just waiting on that smile!

©istockphoto.comLiang Zhang

Celebrating Mother’s Day may just come down to picking the best place to take mom to brunch. Trust me, all mothers want to be pampered and indulged on this special day. They want to be appreciated and nothing says “I love you,” like a well crafted comforting meal.

Here are just a few suggestions that might inspire your Mother’s Day plans:

Waterside Restaurant
Sheraton Columbia Town Center Hotel
10207 Wincopin Circle, Columbia, Md.
410-730-3900 or sheratoncolumbia.com

Enjoy traditional menu favorites in a buffet style brunch with beautiful views of Lake Kittamaqundi. You can opt for outdoor seating and every table has fresh flower arrangements.
Cost: $31.95/adults and $14.95/children ages 5 to 10 (kids under 5 eat free).
Time: Reservations begin at 11:30 a.m., every Sunday.

Gertrude’s
The Baltimore Museum of Art
10 Art Museum Drive, Baltimore, Md.
410-889-3399 or johnshields.com

Chef/owner of Gertrude’s John Shields serves up a menu of regional foods with a very-popular-with-the-locals brunch menu. Though not a buffet venue, you can sit and experience the Baltimore Museum of Art’s sculpture garden as you enjoy your Mother’s Day brunch.
Cost: menu items range from $8 to $20. Time: Brunch is served from 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Christopher Daniel
106 W. Padonia Road,
Timonium, Md.
410-308-1800 or christopher-daniel.com

This is one brunch buffet in Timonium that keeps people coming back for more. Christopher Daniel offers up an eclectic mix of fine-dining favorites, from prime rib and specialty omelets to cinnamon sugar French toast and Delaware Bay oysters.
Cost: $21.95/adults and $10.95/children under 10.
Time: Brunch is served 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Anna Adelstein checks out books from her summer reading list at the Miller Branch of the Howard County Public Library. Photo by Sarah Pastrana

Books have been known to transport their readers and, of course, summer is a time of year when people like to travel.

Kids are no exception. Parents packing their own beach reads for this season’s adventures may want to consider a few travel titles for their tots in tow.

With the help of two local librarians and two booksellers, we have mapped out some great children’s stories that promise to take your kids places.

Recommended by Howard County Library, Central Branch

“LaRue Across America: Postcards from the Vacation”
Mark Teague
The Blue Sky Press
(Grades K-4)

Fans of Ike, Mrs. LaRue’s crafty wordsmith dog, may be surprised to discover Ike on a cross-country journey with Mrs. Hibbins’ two cats, but Shirley O’Neill, materials specialist for the Central Branch of the Howard County Library, reports that it’s as funny as the other titles
in the series.

“Dumpling Days”
Grace Lin
Little, Brown
(Grades 3 and up)

Pacy and her family travel to Taiwan to celebrate her grandmother’s 60th birthday, and she learns a lot about her heritage. This book is a follow-up to the popular “The Year of the Dog” and “The Year of the Rat.” “Pacy is such a great character, and so many kids can relate to her family,” O’Neill says.

“The Genius Files: Mission Unstoppable”
Dan Gutman
HarperCollins
(Grades 3 and up)

This is not exactly a typical family vacation: Traveling with their parents, preteen twins Coke and Pepsi fight off assassins and discover they are part of a top-secret government organization known as The Genius Files.

“Dan Gutman is another amazing writer, well known to kids for his ‘My Weird School’ series, and his historical Baseball Card adventures,” O’Neill says. “ ‘The Genius Files’ is his newest series and another boy-pleaser with humor and adventure.”

“Camp Out! The Ultimate Kids’ Guide: From the Backyard to the Backwoods”
Lynn Brunelle
Workman
(Grades 5 and up)

“This is a hefty, 300-plus-page activity and family book,” O’Neill says. “It’s full of information on what to pack, how to pitch a tent, star gazing and campfire stories. It’s great for ‘just-the-facts’ kids.”

Recommended by the Baltimore County Public Library, Towson Branch

“The Grand Plan to Fix Everything”
Uma Krishnaswami
Atheneum
(Grades 3 and up)

This is the story of a culturally American, ethnically Indian girl who travels with her family to South India. “It’s very light, and is more about moving and making new friends than the travel itself,” says Paula Willey, a children’s librarian for the Towson Branch of the Baltimore County Public Library. Still, it’s a great read.

“The I Q Series”
Roland Smith
Sleeping Bear Press
(Grades 5 and up)

The action in this book takes place in a cross-country-traveling RV, and the two main characters are half siblings whose rock star parents are on tour — and as it turns out, caught up in an espionage peril. “Because rock star parents aren’t exciting enough,” Willey jokes, but added that the book is a “fun, quick read.”

Recommended by The Ivy Bookshop in Baltimore:

“The Umbrella”
Ingrid and Dieter Schubert
Lemniscaat
(Preschool and up)

This wordless picture book details the story of a little dog that gets a hold of an umbrella. “The wind picks him up and literally takes him all over the world,” says Debbie Nelson, The Ivy Bookshop’s children’s books specialist. His journey takes him to the African savannah, an ocean, and other places, but the story provides “a reassuring ending,” Nelson says.

“Cosmic”
Frank Cottrell Boyce
Walden Pond Press
(Grades 3 and up)

Liam, often mistaken for an adult, is sent into outer space as an adult chaperone on a special flight for civilians. “It’s just amazing how hilarious it is,” says Nelson, who noted that it’s an easy-to-pack paperback.

“No Passengers Beyond This Point”
Gennifer Choldenko
Puffin
(Grades 6 and up)

Readers who enjoyed Choldenko’s Al Capone books also will like the author’s foray into fantasy, Nelson predicts. Time travel and mystery pair together in this tale about three siblings forced to move to Colorado after their mom loses their house to foreclosure.

“City Walks with Kids: 50 Adventures on Foot”
Chronicle
(Preschool to grade 5)

“This is not a book,” Nelson says, “but an item.” A very, very helpful item, she adds, because “City Walks” are boxes of cards that include 50 day-trip itineraries geared toward kids. The series includes “City Walks D.C.,” “City Walks New York” and “City Walks San Francisco,” as well as walks for Paris and London.

“You don’t have to carry a whole book with you, and yet it has the points you want to see on each card,” Nelson says.

Recommended by The Children’s Bookstore in Roland Park:

“Adèle and Simon in America”
Barbara McClintock
Farrar, Straus and Giroux
(Grades K-3)

A French brother and sister travel to the United States to embark on a cross-country train trip with their aunt. Set 100 years ago, the time period is captured in beautiful watercolors, says Rachel Machesky, a bookseller at The Children’s Bookstore.

“Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes”
Jonathan Auxier
Amulet
(Grades 5 and up)

Peter Nimble is a blind orphan and a thief who steals a box with three sets of magical eyes. The first pair transports him to a hidden island; the other two send him to equally amazing places. It’s not a book about a vacation, Machesky says.

“Peter is on an odyssey to find his true place in life,” Machesky says. “It’s very fantastical with a journey involved.”

(L-R) Devin Robinson, Jordan Walker, Nia Johnson and Collin Williamson practice their swing dance at Pleasant Plains Elementary School. Photo by Sarah Pastrana

When you’re in the 5th grade, and someone tells you that you’re going to spend the next week of gym class doing ballroom dance with your classmates, it may just be a little out of your comfort zone.

The faces in Pleasant Plains Elementary School’s gym that Monday in late March ranged from skeptical to embarrassed to indignant as the 37 boys and 52 girls realized they were expected to dance with opposite sex partners, an activity that involves both physical contact and being polite.

“It was messy at first because, like, we weren’t used to touching hands,” says Kayla Santmyer.

“Oh, man, that means I have to be nice to the girls,” Renola Dower says her grandson Jeremiah Evans told her.

The Fifth Grade Ballroom Stars program, held this year in 26 Baltimore County schools, gives 5th graders a week of lessons during their physical education period. Professional dancers guide students through merengue, tango, swing and cha-cha moves, with a healthy side of etiquette and respect. At the end of the week, families are invited to watch their newly minted dancers and to join them on the dance floor.

For most of the Pleasant Plains students that first day, it didn’t help when instructor Christine Cox told them she would be referring to the boys as “gentlemen,” or “leaders,” and to the girls as “ladies,” or “followers.” But amidst the groans and protests of his classmates, Lawrence Ofosu says he was thinking, “I can do that.”

And more than the physical activity, more than all the cool moves on the dance floor, it’s that moment of maturity, that sense of stepping up, that gives the program its real power, the adults agree.

“A lot of this is really just about teaching them respect,” Cox says.

Whether they know it or not, 5th graders are at a time of transition, on the cusp of middle school and heading toward their teen years. The ballroom dance program seizes this opening.

“It gives them permission to interact appropriately in a way they wouldn’t be comfortable doing unless someone was asking them to do it,” says dance resource teacher Suzanne Henneman, who oversees the county’s dance programs.

Tiyona Briggs is one of many students kicking up her heals and learning valuable social skills in the process. Photo by Sarah Pastrana

Henneman started the program informally when principals began requesting her help with the inappropriate dance styles some of their students were testing on the playground. It wasn’t surprising, Henneman says, since kids see suggestive dancing on TV and they aren’t taught otherwise. “We should be thinking about teaching them other forms of dance and how to treat each other as part of that, respectfully,” she says.

The first day typically includes skepticism and some resistance, but references to programs like “Dancing with the Stars” and the celebrities who appear there help break the ice, Henneman says. By the end of the week, students not only know the dance moves, but exhibit dance floor manners, she says, like making eye contact, escorting and being escorted to the floor, and thanking their partners.

Demand continues to increase every year since the program’s official start with two schools in 2006, Henneman says, as principals, physical education teachers, and parents hear about 5th graders taking so well to this unexpected activity.

For those students who just plain don’t love gym class, it’s a great way to get involved, says Steffanie Engel, physical education teacher at Woodholme Elementary, which held the program for the first time in February. “That project is like an extra little way to pull them in,” she says.

Woodholme 5th grade teacher Liza Rudick was surprised that even those students you’d never picture doing something as traditional as the tango ended up loving it.

“It was something different for them, out of the box,” she says.

Schools must pay $550, typically covered by PTA funds, parent boosters, or school funds, to the professionals who serve as instructors. Henneman met – and recruited – Cox and a second instructor when they were dance students at Towson University.

Pleasant Plains physical education teacher Steve Ey helped raise some of those funds himself, having witnessed four years worth of 5th graders transform during the program. “You’re teaching those social skills that they’re going to need later in life,” Ey says. “It kind of helps them take that next step forward.”

Kristen Jones and Tayenn Smith have fun dancing during the weeklong Fifth Grade Ballroom Stars dance program. Photo by Sarah Pastrana

After a lot of steps forward – and back, sideways and across the gym floor – the Pleasant Plains dancers have started to loosen up. By Tuesday afternoon, 5th grade teacher Ashley Schoen catches a group of boys and girls practicing the tango at recess. By Wednesday’s class, most of the couples are actually touching each other, and the giggles sound less like embarrassment and more like enjoyment.

And some of the social benefits have started to emerge: Jesse Crosby comments that he likes “dancing with different people because then we get to know different people, and we get to feel more comfortable talking to different people.”

And by Friday, the gym is full of families waiting to see in action what their children have been talking about all week.

Diko Duku has been practicing at home with her 13-year-old brother, who also experienced the ballroom dance program at Pleasant Plains, reports mom Dina Mukudu.

Mary Reinhardt says daughter Fiona is showing more signs of maturity. “I think she’s embraced that part of her that now she’s becoming an older girl,” she says.

“It’ll be interesting to see how she works it out,” muses Clarence Smith of daughter Autumn. “Dancing with boys wasn’t something she was entertaining.”

With the swish of a skirt and the bow of a button-down shirt, the 5th graders enter the gym and take their partners. Couples who, four days ago, would have died to be seen touching and who had never heard of the merengue perform it almost flawlessly, connecting

almost naturally. Through all four dances, most of the pieces are in place: the steps, the etiquette and the respect.

“At first I thought it was too romantic, but now I think it’s fun,” says Alex Romeo.

Toward the end of the performance, Cox invites the students to ask their family members to the floor, and moms, dads, grandparents, aunts and uncles find themselves learning steps from sons and daughters who might be a little more grown-up than they’d realized. When he returns to his seat, Smith knows how Autumn has worked it out. “That was really special,” he says.

At the end of the hour, the ballroom turns back into a gym, staff members stop being dance partners and become teachers and principals again, and the Fifth Grade Ballroom Stars line up at the door. And, everyone in escort position, 52 ladies and 37 gentlemen file out of the gym toward their classrooms.

Photo courtesy of Snyder's of Hanover

Budding engineers can put their skills to the test this summer in a contest to build a model roller coaster out of pretzels.

The Pretzel Coaster Build-Off, sponsored by Snyder’s of Hanover pretzel company and the Busch Gardens Williamsburg amusement park, is open to contestants age 8 and older. Families can work together on an entry as well.

Builders must only use pretzels and a glue gun to create their coasters.

“This contest not only encourages ingenuity around the roller coaster concept, it’s also an exciting activity that the whole family can get behind and have fun with,” says Snyder’s of Hanover marketing manager Bob Gould.

To enter, submit an online entry form including a photo of your roller coaster at www.snydersofhanover.com by June 4. Five finalists will receive a two-day trip for a family of four to Busch Gardens to participate in the final build-off challenge July 10.

In the build-off challenge, finalists will race against the clock to build the best replica of Busch Gardens’ new Verbolten coaster. The winner of that competition will receive a four pack of two-year park passes for Busch Gardens Williamsburg and Water Country USA, along with a year’s supply of Snyder’s pretzels.

For more information about the contest, go to www.snydersofhanover.com or www.facebook.com/snydersofhanover.

Book Bank volunteers Demearria Freeman (back) and Destini Simms. Photo by Monique Harris

This is a great way to give back this spring! If you have books on your shelves that your children have outgrown and want to help other young readers that are less fortunate … then the Book Bank is the place to donate.

“For 20 years the Baltimore Reads’ Book Bank has provided more than 1.6 million children’s books free of charge to kids who would otherwise not have access to books,” explains Shirley Bigley LaMotte, CEO of Baltimore Reads.

This year marks the 20th anniversary of Baltimore Reads’ Book Bank. Since its founding, new and gently-used children’s books have been collected and distributed to Greater Baltimore-area schools, teachers, Head Start centers, social services agencies, community organizations and families unable to afford books for a home library for their children.

Baltimore Reads will hold its 17th annual Books for Kids Day Saturday, May 5 from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on the parking lot of Poly-Western High School on Falls Road and Cold Spring Lane in Baltimore.

“At Books for Kids Day, Baltimore Reads’ volunteers and donors help ensure a ready supply of books that help to develop an intergenerational love for reading and lifelong learning in our community,” says LaMotte.

Baltimore Reads encourages donors to give picture books, children’s fiction and nonfiction, paperback and hard covers, all types of young adult books, comics and graphic novels as well as infant board books. They also welcome books written for adults which become part of Baltimore Reads’ Book Exchange social entrepreneurship program.

If you can’t make the Books for Kids Day event, you can donate to the Book Bank all year round. Baltimore Reads accepts book donations at the Book Bank, which is located at The Baltimore Sun complex at 501 North Calvert St. Members of the community are welcome to visit Wednesdays and Thursdays from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to noon.

For more information on the Books for Kids Day, go to www.baltimorereads.org.

Mary Beth and Joe Poindexter with Abbie, Emily, Hannah, Mitchell, Joseph, and Benjamin. Photo courtesy the Poindexter family

When you think of stepparents, the perils of Cinderella and Snow White may come to mind. But for many, thoughts return to a more positive depiction, especially if you were a child in the 1970’s.

“The Brady Bunch,” whose theme song still easily falls off the tongue, was a staple of American culture during its run in the early 1970s and its reruns through the 1980s. The show was one of the first to detail the blending of two families, each with three children, into one big happy family, complete with a dog and housekeeper.

Today, families are blending often, as many as 1,300 each day in the United States, according to the Stepfamily Foundation, a New York nonprofit. The organization also estimates, through figures from the U.S. Census Bureau, over 50 percent of families in the United States are remarried or recoupled.

Mary Beth and Joe Poindexter don’t have Alice the housekeeper or Tiger the dog, but they blended their six children when they married May 29, 2011.

Once their relationship grew serious, they rented the Brady Bunch series and watched with their kids. All, they said, got a “kick out of seeing their counterparts.”

Mary Beth’s son, Mitchell Kepler, now 10, and Joseph Poindexter, 12, were on the same baseball team in 2008, and they hit it off well. During the games, Hannah and Benjamin, both then 3, became fast playmates.

“It was a little better than arranging a meeting (for the kids),” says Joe, 40. “It was a little more natural this way.”

They tried early on to take all of the kids to dinner but that proved “horrible,” says Mary Beth, 46. It was too much to handle at a restaurant so they resorted to meals at her Westminster home.

As the families blended, they discovered common interests. Abbie, Emily and Hannah danced at the same studio, Tami Gee’s in Finksburg, and the boys shared a love of sports. They took a joint vacation to Cocoa Beach and rented a 12-person van for the drive.

“Everybody got to know each other really well on that trip,” Mary Beth says.

And following their pastor’s suggestion, the wedding was a marriage of the two families, not just the adults. During a sand ceremony, each family member poured colored sand into a large vase symbolizing their blending into one family unit.

“Everybody was unique, but all intertwined and part of each other,” says Mary Beth. The vase is displayed on the mantle in their home.

Joe has stepped in to fill the father role for Mary Beth’s kids, who lost their biological father following an illness in 2005. He taught Emily to drive, builds rockets with Mitchell and plays with Hannah, who writes about him and calls him “Daddy,” but resorts to “Joe” verbally like her siblings. Mary Beth is an added female role model for Joe’s kids, since their biological mom lives locally.

Today, many look at the stepparent more like a bonus-parent, says Tami Butcher, author of “My Bonus Mom! Taking the Step out of Stepmom,” an illustrated book geared to children 10 and under. Butcher, who had her own “bonus mom” growing up, never liked the word “step” because of its negative connotation.

“It’s just a person who can love you more and be just a bonus in your life,” says Butcher.

In many cases, the relationship does end up being a bonus for the children, but it may have a rocky start.

It was difficult, Joe says, to make his kids feel comfortable in their joined home, which was Mary Beth’s before the marriage. Joe’s children spend every other weekend there, and although they have their own room in their mom’s house, when they are all together, all three boys share a room. Abbie and Emily share also.

This was discussed with all of the children prior to the Poindexters’ move to the Kepler home.

“Frank, open discussions about the difficulties of blended families can be very helpful,” says Nicole Glick, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist in practice in Mt. Washington. “Allowing the child to openly express his or her concerns about the blend and the stepparents’ behavior can be very validating and may aid in the problem solving process.”

Although the Keplers and Poindexters had few issues with blending their families, sometimes it can be more difficult.

The most common challenge, Glick says, is the child’s rejection of the stepparent and subsequent disrespect for their rules and opinions. She suggests the stepparents move slowly and take cues from the child’s parents.

“I also encourage stepparents to take an active interest in what the child is passionate about,” she says. “If a stepson is playing little league baseball, then the stepparent should make an effort to attend the games, even if they fall on days that the child is scheduled to be with the other parent.”

Alyson and John Friedman with their kids Jessica, Josh, Joey, and Lily. Photo cortesy the Freidman family.

That’s exactly what Brad Hobbs did for his stepson Ryan Kuehnl, now 12.

A Howard County firefighter and EMT, Brad spends his off days with Ryan, helping to coach his Elkridge Youth Organization baseball team or taking him fishing, something he’s always loved. Brad attends every game he can, whether or not Ryan’s biological father attends.

Brad married Bonnie when Ryan was four years old, but he had been a part of his life since infancy.

“He was so young that it made it a lot easier of a transition because his feelings weren’t involved,” says Brad, 33.

From the beginning, Brad immersed himself in Ryan’s care. Once when Ryan was 2 years old, Bonnie ran to the store, leaving Brad and Ryan to play. When she returned, Ryan had been bathed and was in his pajamas.

“He stepped up to the plate like a father,” says Bonnie, 32. “He considers Ryan his son.”

Bonnie admits the two “do everything together,” from playing baseball to competing at video games. The biggest challenge has been when Ryan tests Brad, who enforces the same rules that Bonnie introduced years ago. When Bonnie hears them argue, she steps back and lets Brad have the authority, something that took time.

“I try to step outside a little and let Brad handle it so Ryan sees Brad holds authority just like mom does,” says Bonnie. “We are a team.”

From the beginning, Brad says, he let Ryan know they were a family. In fact, when Bonnie and Brad exchanged rings, Brad gave Ryan a family medallion, which he pinned on Ryan’s coat. Constant hugs and “I love you’s,” also reinforce the family, especially after Ace, now 3, joined them.

Jessica and Josh Meister were receptive from the moment John Friedman became part of their lives and joined them in board games and sports activities. Today, Jessica, 14, and Josh, 11, enjoy playing tennis with their mom, Alyson, and John. John and Josh take long bike rides together including a recent ride for charity; and with Jessica, he enjoys cooking.

“He adores my children and they love him,” says Alyson, 44. “I feel very lucky.”

It may have been easier since Alyson and her ex-husband maintain a friendly relationship, enabling the children to feel comfortable with John. Their father has even invited John to join them for sporting events and other outings.

“When I came into the picture, there was no conflict,” says John, 53. “They knew their parents were going in different directions and they wanted each to be happy.”

Having gone through his own parents’ divorce when he was 10 and working as an attorney on domestic cases helped John to remain sensitive to everyone’s feelings and take things slowly. He also treated each child differently based on their personalities and individual needs.

Alyson had a slightly tougher time with Joey, John’s now 16-year-old son. After patience and time, things are better now.

The blended family has vacationed together, along with John’s older children, Anna, 25, and Lily, 22, and their boyfriends.

The Poindexters are also planning a summer vacation in the Poconos. But for now, life is streamlined, with all of the kids sharing chores. They enjoy each other and being part of each other’s lives.

They look forward to a happy future. “And there will be lots of grandchildren,” Mary Beth chuckles.

Audrey at Mary Poppins, the Musical

Once a famed theater for vaudevillian entertainment, the Hippodrome has been transformed into The France-Merrick Performing Arts Center … a state-of-the-art showcase for performing arts. Audrey turned to me right before the theater went black and said, “Mommy, this is the most beautiful theater in the whole world.”

As the curtain rose, I watched Audrey’s eyes brighten and her spirit swell. She was immediately connected to the characters, the songs and the story. Disney Theatrical Productions and Cameron Mackintosh put together a talented cast that transported Audrey and I from the very first note to a fantastical world of song and hope.

One of the many highlights of the night was the mesmerizing kaleidoscope of colors in each set. Audrey and I were captivated by the whimsical and intricate designs and the star studded cast and choreography. Having never seen the show, Audrey was particularly taken by the iconic song, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” … it took her all night to master the word. It was worth the price of admission, just to watch her try to do it.

I think the standout performance for me, was surprisingly not Mary Poppins, who was very good, but I think paled in comparison to the flawless performance of Winifred Banks, the mother of Jane and Michael Banks, played by Elizabeth Broadhurst. Every time she stepped on the stage, she owned it.

This is one ticket that I would definitely recommend for children of all ages. Check out Mary Poppins at The France-Merrick Performing Arts Center at the Hippodrome Theater.  The show started last night and will run for only two weeks.

Jacob Fruman, 5, of Owings Mills, prefers to wear green and yellow clothes and anything with the John Deere insignia. Photo courtesy Tracee Fruman

They call him the “John Deere kid.”

Actually, his name is Jacob Fruman. But based on his clothing — hats, T-shirts and sweat pants adorned with the green and yellow farm equipment company’s logo — the nickname seemed to fit.

“I like my John Deere clothes because I like John Deere,” says Jacob, 5, of Owings Mills.

He also likes yellow, green and tractors, says his mom, Tracee Fruman. And for almost a year, any clothes she bought without those three traits sat in his room, untouched.

“We had all these clothes he wouldn’t wear,” she says.

Whether it’s the style, the color, the feel or the fit, young children can be picky about what they wear, and finding an outfit that both child and parent agree on can be a challenge.

But there are ways to avoid a fight, experts and parents say, including communication, compromise and a little creativity.

The battles

For Jacob, his passion for all things John Deere began on his second birthday, when he received a DVD about the company’s tractors. At age 4, the affinity carried over to his clothing, his mother says. But the feel of the clothes began to matter, too.

“He became particular about his clothes,” she says. “The last couple of years he would wear sweatpants and not jeans because they were soft inside.”

The minute Jacob comes home, he also insists on changing into shorts and short sleeves, regardless of the season, Fruman says.

For 2-year-old Lila Walsh, the feel and colors matter most.

“She’s been picky since she was eight months old,” says her mother, Heather Walsh, of Baltimore. “She likes pink and purple, and if you have a scratchy tag or the material doesn’t feel nice, she won’t wear it.”

Lately, if it’s not a dress, she won’t wear it either.

Bridget Quinn Stickline, owner of Wee Chic children’s clothing boutique in Lutherville, says she frequently meets parents who face clothing battles with their young children.

“I had one customer whose daughter wanted to wear tights and a T-shirt,” she says. “That’s all.”

Girls tend to be pickier about colors and styles, whereas boys tend to be pickier about the feel, she says.

“Everybody’s encountering this in some way,” she says. “Some children are just more steadfast about it.”

Each morning, Heather Walsh selects a few outfit options for her 2-year-old daughter, Lila, who prefers purple and pink clothes and is picky about texture. Photo by Sarah Pastrana

THE REASONS

So why all the fuss? For most children, choosing clothing is a first attempt at self-expression, Stickline says. As their personalities develop, so do their preferences.

“Gender identity is a part of that,” says Jo Paoletti, associate professor of American Studies at the University of Maryland College Park and author of “Pink and Blue: Telling the Boys from Girls in America.”

Before the 20th century, parents dressed their children more according to age than gender, she says. Babies wore white clothing, as well as a range of pastels. By the 1940s, pink clothes began to signify girls and blue clothes to signify boys, but parents could still find plenty of gender neutral clothing, Paoletti says.

That changed in the mid-1980s, when pink became strongly associated with femininity. Neutral and non-pink items became harder to find, she says.

Child development experts say children become aware of their gender around ages 2 and 3, so it’s not surprising that most 4-year-olds want to wear gender specific clothing. It is what makes them feel comfortable, Paoletti says.

Adult reactions also play a role. For example, if a boy wears a tutu and receives a negative reaction, he probably won’t wear it again, Paoletti says. If a girl wears a dress and receives praise, the dress will likely become one of her favorites.

Today’s children are, in general, more conscious of their clothing than in generations past, according to experts.

Children are treated more like consumers today in that their preferences for certain products are important and honored. The same could also be said for adults, according to Paoletti. “I think we also define ourselves and others in terms of our possessions more than people did a century ago,” says Paoletti.

In general, children also have more choices today when it comes to their clothing, just as they do for what they eat for dinner and where their family goes for vacation, says Daniel Cook, associate professor of childhood studies at Rutgers University — Camden and author of “The Commodification of Childhood: The Children’s Clothing Industry and the Rise of the Child Consumer.”

“You’re going to have more preferences when you have more choices,” he says.

Children’s clothing styles for all ages are also more visible today than decades ago because of television shows, magazines and movies, he says.

Self-expression and gender identity aside, there are some children who are just plain picky or more sensitive to fabrics than others.

That’s why it’s important to ask your child about what they like or dislike about their clothes, Stickline says.

“It’s an ongoing dialogue,” she says.

THE SOLUTIONS

Offering the child a choice is one of the easiest ways to make both parent and child happy, parents say. In some cases, that means giving up control.

“You have to give up some of these notions that your kid just walked out of a magazine,” Walsh says.

Each night, Walsh sifts through an assortment of dresses and leggings and picks out three outfits for Lila. In the morning, Lila chooses her favorite.

“Before, she would rip through her drawers and throw clothes all over her room, looking for the right outfit,” Walsh says. “Having a choice works really well.”

In addition to choice, make getting dressed into a game, especially for younger children, says Emily Meyer, co-founder of San Francisco-based Tea Collection children’s clothing line.

“Ask, ‘Can you get dressed all by yourself?’” she says. “For older ones, ‘How quickly can you get dressed?’”

Stickline recommends parents take their children with them while clothes shopping. This is especially important for children who have tactile sensitivity.

Shopping online also can help. Now, instead of buying outfits Jacob will never wear, Fruman joins her son at the computer to pick out his everyday clothes.

“You pick your battles,” she says. “I am resigned to the fact that it doesn’t really matter what he wears. As long as he is comfortable and happy, he’s fine.”

7 GOING ON 14

The battle over clothing doesn’t end after preschool — especially for young girls.

Certain clothing retailers sell everything from high-heeled shoes for girls as young as 6 to padded bikini tops for girls as young as 8.

In 2011, researchers at Kenyon College in Ohio examined the websites of 15 retailers. They found that almost one-third of the clothes marketed to tween girls were sexualized. Those clothes included low-cut shirts, T-shirts with suggestive words and bottom-skimming shorts.

The abundance of this kind of clothing creates an extra challenge for parents, says Jo Paoletti, associate professor of American Studies at the University of Maryland College Park and author of “Pink and Blue: Telling the Boys from Girls in America.”

“For parents, it’s hard to divorce gender from sexuality for girls,” she says. “How does a girl look pretty without looking attractive?”

Thirty years ago, clothing for girls ages 7 and 8 still had some “baby like” qualities, Paoletti says. Now, many tween clothes incorporate more mature, teenage fashions, she says.

“Should there really be such a thing as an 8-year-old fashionista?” she asks.

If the answer is no, there are still retailers that make non-sexualized and neutral clothing for tweens. And the more parents who shop for these styles, the more options the future holds, Paoletti says.

“If people demand it, you will see change,” she says.

Erin O'Reilly, (from left), Haley Forman, 10, Rosie Clemens, 10, and Kendall Broughton, 10, play the Xbox game "Just Dance" at the Forman home. Photo by Sarah Pastrana

Julie Forman has never discouraged her daughters from throwing, or attending, slumber parties because she remembers clearly how much she enjoyed them as a child.

“Growing up I loved sleepovers because you got to go to someone else’s house, be with all your friends and have fun until late at night,” the mother of two from Elkridge recalls. “I did it and know how much fun it can be, and I want my daughters to have those memories, too.”

On a child’s social calendar, sleepovers rank right up there with trick-or-treating and birthday parties. But what can be 15 hours of fun for a child can translate into 20 hours of anxiety for a parent trying to plan an entertaining party with no drama.

“There’s no such thing as throwing a slumber party together,” Forman advises. “You have to plan — who’s going to come, what activities the kids can do, what kinds of food to serve. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or complicated, but if you don’t plan ahead you’re going to end up calling moms in the middle of the night because someone is scared or bored or feeling excluded.”

Forman’s daughters are 10 and 12, and she’s survived many sleepovers.

“If it’s your first time hosting, the best piece of advice I can give is keep it small,” she advises. “Crowd control is a lot easier to manager when you only have three or four guests.”

Here are six basic guidelines to follow that can help alleviate stress and ensure a memorable party for all involved:

1. Pre-Party

There are simple steps you can take ahead of time to make things go smoothly when the first guest arrives. Make sure your invitations have a definite start and end time, what each child should bring (sleeping bag) and what meals will be served. When a parent RSVPs, get a contact number for them in the event a late-night phone call is warranted. Designate a specific area of the house where the kids will be by rearranging furniture to maximize the space and removing anything breakable. Finally, make sure all parental controls are activated for your television and computer.

2. Finger Foods

No matter what age your guests are, expect them to eat twice what you’d expect. Make it easy on yourself by buying finger foods like chips, grapes, cookies, cheese and crackers and maybe a small bowl of candy. Juice boxes and water bottles might cost a little more, but they cut down considerably on spills that need to be cleaned up. Keep serving bowls small so you have to go in periodically and refill them. It’s a good excuse for popping in and checking out what is going on without looking like you are snooping. For older kids, late-night pizza is always a big hit, particularly after the 10 p.m. “power surge” (See  No. 3 “Get physical”)

3. Get Physical

For some reason that has yet to be explained, kids at a sleepover seem to have a burst of energy around 10 p.m. Everything can be running smoothly, and all of a sudden you have kids jumping on the couch, wrestling on the floor or turning cartwheels down your hallway. Constructively channel this burst into a physical activity like a scavenger hunt in your house or yard, a brisk walk through the neighborhood (let’s see who can run backwards fastest to the corner), or pull out the game console for “Just Dance” or “Dance, Dance Revolution.” If all else fails, let them loose in the yard for a game of flashlight tag before the neighbors go to sleep.

4. A Dull Roar

Prepare yourself for a lot of noise. You know how high the volume gets pushed when one or two friends come over. Multiply that by how many guests you expect and don’t be shocked when, in spite of your firmest reminders to “keep it down,” your partygoers squeal, laugh, vie for the spotlight or shriek out of sheer excitement. Remember that they are kids. While every parent will have a different level of tolerance, if you are expecting a quiet evening, you are setting yourself up for a night of frustration.

5. Wind Down

Rent several appropriate movies for the end of the evening when you want the party to transition to a slower pace. Usually at least one or two guests, if not most, will fall asleep during a late movie. They are also good in the morning once everything has been cleaned up and guests are waiting for parents to pick them up. It can be fun to schedule a sleepover on or near the DVD release of a popular movie. Check out http://www.movieweb.com/movies/2012/family?s=date for dates in 2012.

6. Breakfast

You might be tempted to whip up a hot, hearty breakfast for your guests, but keep it simple with a self-serve meal. Some kids will eat like birds; others might still be stuffed from goodies the night before. Instead of heaping their plates with foods that might not appeal at the moment, set out an easy buffet where they can help themselves to as little or as much as they want. A bowl of fruit salad, cereal bars and doughnuts and bagels should cover all the bases. Water, juice and milk will wash it all down.

IS YOUR CHILD READY FOR A SLEEPOVER?

Some children never think twice about sleeping away from home. Others aren’t ready until middle school. Here are some clues that might help you determine if your child is ready to be away from home until tomorrow.

Might Not Be Ready

1. Has trouble saying goodbye to you. When someplace new, wants you to stay until he or she feels comfortable.

2. Can’t sleep through the night without calling for a parent or visiting their bedroom.

3. Has trouble solving problems without an adult’s help.

4. Is afraid of the dark.

5. Routinely wets the bed.

Note: Often numbers four and five can be accommodated but talk to the host parent first and have a plan in place like a nightlight or an extra set of pajamas.

Ready

1. Has slept over previously with family members.

2. Is extremely excited about the sleepover and shows no hesitation.

3. Talks about the sleepover without expressing fear or asking too many “what if” questions.

4. Sleeps well and through the night at home.

5. Feels comfortable trying to solve own problems.

For more ideas, check out these books and DVDs:

• Super Slumber Parties by American Girls, $9.99

• Snooze-A-Palooza by American Girls, $9.99

• Melissa & Doug Slumber Party Box Of Questions, $9.99

• Best Ever Sleepover DVD, $9.99