One of our favorite blogs, momlogic.com, is running the conception diaries of five women. They will be following the women over the next two months as they try to conceive babies. Several of the woman are just starting to try while others have been unsuccessful for a year or more.
Reading their stories brought back some difficult memories for me. Though it may not look like it from the picture above, my husband and I had trouble in this department.
I think like every woman, I always assumed that as soon as I decided I was ready to have a baby, I would get pregnant. But that didn’t happen. First, it took over four months to conceive which seemed like eternity. After a tip to eat lots of carrots, (which can aid in more fertile mucus) we were able to conceive pretty quickly but shortly after, I had my first miscarriage. A few months later, I conceived again and then promptly miscarried again.
Then there were a series of tests which concluded nothing. So a few months later, we tried again and conceived again. But again, I started bleeding at 7 weeks — despite taking progesterone — and had to go on bed rest. A month later, a sonogram showed that the baby had died.
From there, we were sent to a specialist who did more invasive tests. But he also found nothing to pin all the problems on. So eventually, we were given the go ahead to try again. I conceived right away, and we went back to the specialist regularly. I continued taking progesterone, and we held our breath. I was so worried I would lose the baby, I had to see a psychologist. But nine months later, Maggie was born.
When Maggie was a year, we started trying again because who knew how long it would take for another baby to stick? Two months later, we learned I was pregnant with twins.
After that, the last thing on our mind for a long time was conceiving. But when the twins were 3, I was ready to try again. I thought I had this conception thing down, but I was wrong. I conceived right away but lost the baby again. This was a real blow, and it left me so off balance, we put off trying for awhile.
A year later, I conceived and carried Jonah to term. Our conception story is sordid, but it has a fruitful ending. We are so blessed.
I plan on keeping up with the diaries on momlogic.com. I’ll probably follow those that are having trouble the closest because I feel for them. I hope in the end, their family picture will look as full and beautiful as mine.

Ever heard of the GBMC Nearly New Sale? It’s this weekend and it’s the best thing going if you are looking for great deals on just about everything. I never miss it, and now that money’s tight — there’s even more reason to go.
I went last weekend to the sale’s Patron’s Day, the preview weekend for those who donate items or help out in other ways. My girls came with me and we made out.
The girls filled their backpacks with t-shirts, skirts, stuffed animals, puzzles, DVDs and books. I filled a huge tote bag with clothes for my kids, my friend’s 18-month-old, and even a few things for myself. We got a total of 40 items and the grand total came to $45. The most expensive thing we bought was a $3 dress. The cheapest was a 25 cent shirt. I got my son a pair of brand new navy blue uniform pants — retailing for around $17 — for $2.50. I almost bought a Prince tennis racket for $10 — but it seemed a bit pricy. One year, I bought bike helmets for all the kids in the neighborhood. Another year, I stocked up on inline skates for everyone in the family — including my husband.
The sale has luggage, vintage clothing, furniture, computers and bedding. There are small appliances, glass wear, jewelry and clothes from Ralph Lauren to Tommy Hilfiger. All the proceeds benefit the hospital.
I could spend hours sorting through all the stuff. Unfortunately, my girls got board after about two hours. They had to drag me out. But I’ll be back for the fall sale.

I’ve been waking up in the worst mood lately. I’m a real bear in the morning. I feel bad for my kids because sometimes, they bear the brunt of it.
But I realized something the other day. When I get a chance to go on a run after all the kids are in school, I feel great. It totally wipes out my bad mood and replaces it with a true sense of well being. Really — it’s like a drug. It might even be better than a drug.
What I wish I could do is get up before the kids are out of bed and get my run in first thing, so I’m in my happy place by the time they wake up. Unfortunately my husband has to be at the work at the crack, so I would have to drag myself out of bed at 5:45. It might actually be worth it though. I know my kids would appreciate it!

This past weekend was the first that the kids had colliding activities. By that I mean that three of them had something going on at the same time — a problem because there are only two of us.
With four kids — we knew this would happen eventually and on Saturday — reality hit hard. Adam had a lacrosse game that overlapped with Lilly’s lacrosse game which overlapped with a birthday party that Jonah had been invited to.
It’s been awhile since I had a child invited to a preschool birthday party, so I hadn’t really thought about the fact that it might not be a great idea to just drop him off. But there was no way that either one of us could stay with him. But poor Jonah is the kid who gets dragged everywhere, so he was more than due to enjoy an activity of his own.
Luckily, Maryland Family ran a story in the April issue about this topic — when it’s ok to leave a child at a party and when you should stay. I pulled it out, reviewed it and promptly called the host mom. I explained our situation, and she was really nice about it. She said there would be plenty of extra hands. I also thought about Jonah and how he would feel about the situation. I realized — as the youngest — he would much rather be left at the party, like a big boy, than have me stay. And frankly — he probably behaved much better that way.

My sister’s family had to put their dog to sleep this week.
Phoebe, a golden retriever, was 9 years old and was diagnosed with cancer around Christmastime. She was doing pretty well until Monday and then went down hill fast.
My sister called me crying on Tuesday. She loved that dog so much. We don’t have a dog so it was hard for me to grasp, but I know that Phoebe was a true member of their family. My sister was finding it hard to comfort her 10-year-old daughter because she was so upset herself.
It’s hard loosing a pet but even harder explaining it to your children — even if they are older. You can find a couple of good Web sites here and here with tips of how to help your children through losing a pet.
My blog today is dedicated to Phoebe Gaines. She was a good dog and will be missed.

Photo by Bob Gaines

Is it going to strike my neighborhood next?
It’s been a rough week in our little section of Maryland for families. First Christopher Allen Wood apparently took the lives of his wife and three children before killing himself in their Frederick County home last weekend, according to reports in The Baltimore Sun. Then there was the Parente family from New York, all found dead in their Towson hotel room Monday — apparently at the hands of dad — William M. Parente, The Sun reported.
I have to admit, I’m a little obsessed with these tragedies. I read everything I can get my hands on to try to make sense of it, but I can’t. How could things be so hopeless that killing yourself and your family would seem the only option?
If this were to happen in my family or in my neighborhood — I would be devastated. It’s hard enough to fathom when I don’t even know the families. But what if it was here, and I could have done something?
It makes me think of the old adage “it takes a village.” As the economy worsens — we are going to have to rely more and more on each other. We need to start thinking about that now — before one of our families hit rock bottom. Think about who you could turn to — who could help you out if the unthinkable happens and you can no longer provide for your family.
I would much rather struggle with any inconvenience of helping out a neighbor than have to deal with the loss of a neighborhood family. I recently told my neighbor that if worse came to worse, we could just pick one of our houses to live in. It wouldn’t be easy — but it might help us get through. And that’s what matters. It might seem like a naive thought — but can you think of anything better?
In the meantime, there’s the question of how do we know when a neighbor — or even our own spouse — is struggling and thinking of doing the unthinkable. mom logic.com recently wrote a blog on this topic and offered signs to look for. Check it out here.
In times like these we need to be there for each other. We need to not only be ready to offer help — but also be willing to accept it.

My Wednesday blogger is my co-editor, Cheryl Clemens:

Last week Momlogic.com caused a stir when it published an article by a woman
who gave birth and then cooked up the placenta and ate it over pasta and as
part of a panini. And yes, photos were included. Check it out here.

I’m usually not squeamish, and I recognize that eating the placenta is
something done in some cultures (and by most animals). But - wow! - this
really turned my stomach.

Just wondering, has anyone local done this or do you know someone who did? Was it something you had
always planned on doing? Did you tell anyone after and if so, what kind of
response did you get?

We went to the National Zoo in Washington D.C. for the first time over my kids spring break. And now Jonah, 4, has National Zoo fever.
He loved it. He did not want to leave until we had seen every last animal in the place. And there was no fooling him, because he had the map. And that place is BIG. His little legs were not intimidated by the hills or the sheer amount of walking involved. The only time he sat down and insisted on being carried was when I said we were leaving. If I’d said we were heading back up the hill to see the few animals we had missed, I’m sure he would have been leading the way.
And since we’ve been home — he’s talked about nothing else. His favorite animal by far was the giant hippo (who, unfortunately, is being shipped out soon to another zoo). He also liked the giant lobster, the giant turtles, the huge anaconda snake, and the bald eagle. He explained to his dad — who was unable to make the trip — that the giant octopus really wasn’t very giant and that we also saw a “spectacular” bear like the one on Diego (really a Spectacle bear).
He’s been playing “National Zoo” in the tub, where he sets up all the animals we have in “exhibits,” and he even took the torn map of the zoo to show all his friends at school.
Now all he wants to know is when we are going back. Yikes. Do you think the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore will do? That zoo is more my size — one we can do in a morning and still be home in time for lunch and a nap (for me, I mean).

I work from home, and the computer I use is in the family room. It’s the family computer so my desk ends up being the family desk.
One afternoon last week Adam, 8, approached me while I was trying to get some work done. He was looking for the little tag with the code on it for the Webkins he got for Christmas.
That’s right, Christmas — as in nearly four months ago. Apparently, he put the tag on my desk and four months later, he’s looking for it so he can log the Webkin on.
The desk has seen four months of stuff piling up on it, and four months of me cleaning it off so I can work. Four months of drinks spilling, Webkin playing, dust collecting, paper shuffling, phone ringing, message writing, stuff falling … you get the idea.
But he remembers leaving it right on the desk. So why isn’t it still there? Words can not express to him my thoughts on that matter.

Being a parent is hard work. Most kids don’t usually realize just how hard, but this preschool mom of 18 kids sure does. Click here to see the video clip from momlogic.com. You will get a good chuckle. We did!