My son has ADHD. We’ve known this for awhile but we’ve been focusing on some of his other struggles over the past few years — hoping that in addressing those, he would get a handle on the attention component.
But since school started — it’s becoming more and more clear that he’s struggling to concentrate and struggling to hold it together. There are more demands in fourth grade. It’s harder. There’s more to do and it’s stressful.
For the first time we are seriously considering putting him on a stimulant. We’ve had mixed advice and the right route is cloudy. Will a stimulant make him more anxious? Or will it be just the ticket to help him succeed and have more control of his life? It’s a hard decision for a parent to make.
Do you have a child with ADHD? How did you make the decision weather or not to medicate?
The ADHD struggle
Betsy Stein | 09/29/09
3 Responses to “The ADHD struggle”
About Betsy Stein
Betsy Stein has been editor of Maryland Family magazine since 2002. Her main and most fulfilling job, however, is her family — husband, Chris, and children, Maggie, 12; Lilly and Adam, 11; and Jonah, 7. Before kids, Betsy was a reporter for the Howard County Times beginning in 1991. She covered education, planning and zoning, and courts and cops at various points in her career.
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Our son was diagnosed in first grade. Like you, we struggled with the idea of using drugs, but it became more and more apparant that we ought to at least try them and see how it worked. Honestly, we have had ups and downs and have had to switch medications and doses many times, as some of the side effects with certain meds were very severe.
Our pediatrician recommended a child psychiatrist to assist us with the stimulants last fall after some very bizarre behaviors in school, which were his way of acting out against a teacher who very obviously did not like him and could not deal with his AD/HD. (That is a story for another day!)
He is now in 4th grade and we think we have found the right combination of meds for him. We have been told the meds will probably change as he grows and matures. We work diligently on behavior modification, organizational skills and have worked with a psychologist as well as the school counselor to develop an educational plan for certain accommodations he needs (he is diagnosed as disgraphic as well as ADHD). He is much happier at school so far this year and has better social experiences as well.
There are periods of time that breeze by, and other times there are days on end where we all struggle together. At least now I don’t cry myself to sleep anymore wondering if we are doing the right thing with the medications. We have developed a great support network and just having these dicussions can be eye-opening and therapeutic.
This is a difficult decision to make. I have 3 children and all three are on medication. My oldest has the most severe ADHD and was diagnosed in second grade. We have gone through many changes in both medication and dosages and have finally hit upon the right dosage as of now. He is in the eighth grade and 14 now. Unfortunately, several times in the past we thought that we were at the right medication and dosage and then he would grow or gain a pound and back to square one. I am convinced that he would not be able to function in school without the medicaiton. And as a result, would have low self esteem and probably try to quit school as soon as he could. Because of the medication he is currently and A/B student and as he gets older his organizational skills and ability to stay on task have improved immensely.
My second child is ADD. He does not have the hyperactivity and therefore was harder to diagnose and was not diagnosed until he was in the fifth grade. He had struggled in school since kindergarten and was retained in first grade. As soon as he was diagnosed and started on medication the change was dramatic. His teacher was amazed and he has gone from being a C/D student to an A/B student. We recently had to increase his dosage slightly because he recognized that the lower dosage no longer was working for him.
The youngest child who is a girl was diagnosed ADHD in first grade. She was on the retention list but once she started on her medication she soared and quickly caught up and went from reading below grade level to above grade level. She is now is fourth grade and doing very well in school.
It is a hard decision to make regarding medication, but my experience has been nothing but positive. All of the children see a psychologist to help them deal with their ADD/ADHD.
Good luck with your journey.
I have 3 sons with ADHD and my youngest was the worst case. They are all adults now with the youngest being 19. We too started my son at age 6 on Ritalin and then moved from med to med because he had some very severe reactions throughout the years. In the 8th grade we finally had to take him off all medications because they made him so angry and violent. Make sure you never substitute brand name meds for generic. Altough they say they are the same they are not. Some off the generics are just a bit different and can have very bad side affects. I learned the hard way. Another thing that you will need to do is keep on the schools. They say that they know how to handle the ADHD student but they don’t do it. Because of the time required to give to the ADHD student, they very often slip though the systems. If you have your student on and IEP (Education plan) through the school, your child is protected under the student with disabilities act. They are required to give your child the special education plan he needs. I had to keep on the schools and the districts and teachers all through school. They all did graduate!!!! My oldest is in law school, and my middle will get his BS next fall and my youngest is just working. You will have many days of frustration and worry and many tears… Just remember to love the and give them lots of praise. Good luck.