It’s vacation time at Maryland Family, but our guest blogger today is local mom Kim Hess, a stay-at-home mother of two:
No. Not Fat. Worse.
One evening after putting the kids to bed, my husband looked over at me and said, “You look frumpy.”
Frumpy?
I had been working out and dropped a clothes size. I recently purchased a couple items of clothing to replace the “fat” clothes. My hair had been growing back, after losing about half of it two years ago. I most certainly am not frumpy!
The word frumpy consists of six letters, but to women, it has the negative connotations of a four-letter word. To a stay-at-home mom, whose attire does not include power suits and sexy club dresses, this comment cut to the core of my womanhood.
I halted my immediate thoughts of dismembering his anatomy, and took a good look in the bathroom mirror. And, lo and behold, his assessment correctly described me.
Me teal green fitted t-shirt and brown Capri pants had stretched during the day. The t-shirt did not snugly fit my torso. My pants looked as if I had a dirty diaper hanging in the rear. To finish my slovenly look, my hair had frizzed to an unruly mess. My self-image did not match the reflection in the mirror.
The reality check startled me. I looked frumpy!
My look needed a drastic change, requiring me to loosen the purse strings and actually spend money on myself. I try to limit spending to necessary household purchases and for activities for the children. Buying clothes for myself ranks near the bottom. These items seemed in vain and excessive, more like luxury items than necessities.
The next month, I went on a shopping spree. I figured out that my shirt size is a petit medium, not a regular large. My pant size is actually one size smaller. I purchased flirty skirts and sexy dresses. I received an accurate fitting for new bras to hold the “girls” in their proper places. I went to the salon for a new hair cut and purchased hair products specific to my hair type.
I felt guilty spending the money, but I felt very good with how I looked. I needed to adjust my priorities and rank myself higher, so that I would purchase items and services for me.
The spending spree did not exceed our family’s budget. However, the comment was the most expensive one my husband has made.
When I ask my husband whether I look frumpy now, he smiles and says you look fantastic. That is an acceptable F word to describe me.
Awesome Kim…I haven’t heard the word but I’m sure it’s been in the minds of many a husband! I’m inpsired to go spend some money on myself too!
Great article Kim! I did the same thing about four months ago. I finally started spending money on myself. Your right, it felt great. I thnk I’ll do it more often. As mothers, we should do that more often.
Your article made me smile Kim! Thanks for the laugh! I’m going to think twice about my outfit today! As Moms we always put our kids before ourselves.
Love it, Kim! We have to make ourselves more of a priority!
Awesome job! God help my husband if he ever calls me frumpy.
Fantastic article!
I think I’ll go do some school shopping for ME.
Great article, Kim! You deserve it!!
It is so easy to fall into a rut. I try to keep myself in check…but it is usualy my girlfriend Andrea that says “is that the way you are going out?” It is painfull to hear but it makes me up my game.
Thank you for reminding me to keep myself first!
Great article! I must confess when you said you wrote an article about your hubby calling you the F word, another word came to mind and I thought deck him!!! Harhar. But I think heck even when I spend the money on clothes, sometimes at the end of the day taking care of kids, I don’t look so good…..but I do make the effort. I’m still “trying” to lose the baby weight before buying clothes but I do make sure I put make up on everyday! Hmmm maybe I should dig in the budget and get a personal trainer…….:0
Kim- Congrads. great article. It worried me about ‘the F word” – but I laughed after reading. Can’t wait to see the new you…although I will say… the other you was great as well!
when you look good you feel good — i definitely subscribe to that motto! moms always put others first, but for me it takes less than 15 mins in the morning to put on a bit of makeup and a casual yet fun outfit for the morning. but in doing so, i tackle the day feeling more energized and confident than if i just lazed in sweats and felt “frumpy” — so good for you for taking time (and spending money on) yourself — it is worth it!!!