Kids lead expensive, electronic-laden lives. The latest CD, a trip to
the mall or even just a ticket to the movies drains a parent’s
wallet. It sure would be nice if the little darlings could earn some
of their own money for a change. And maybe they’ve been bugging
you to let them do just that.
Baby-sitting is the time-honored entrée into the world of earning
one’s own money, and maybe it’s just the ticket _ or the CD or the
shopping trip _ for your son or daughter. But then you look at your
child _ the one who still needs so much parenting from you _ and
wonder: Are they ready for this? Will everyone survive?
To answer those questions, and to make sure the answer to the last
one is an emphatic “yes,” the first step for the prospective sitter
should be a baby-sitting course, widely offered in the Baltimore
area by the Red Cross.
Jane Aksoy, program delivery supervisor for the Central Maryland
Chapter of the American Red Cross, says the six-hour course is
designed for children between the ages of 11 and 15. It covers
feeding, diapering, toileting, feeding and holding infants,
appropriate toys and first-aid emergencies.
“They’ll learn things like what to do if someone is choking and
what to if someone is bleeding,” Aksoy says.
Although 11-year-olds take the class, Maryland law states that a
baby sitter must be 13 to watch someone under the age of 8.
But even if your child is legally old enough, are they mature
enough?
“Parents should know their child better than anyone else,” Aksoy
says. “Look at how they’re responsible about getting other things
done. If something happened, how would they react? Would they
panic?”
Penelope Ward, a clinical psychologist at Life Care Health
Associates in Towson who is trained in family therapy, says the
first question parents need to ask is: Does the child really want to
baby-sit? If the child truly does want to earn his or her own
money, parents need to evaluate her on two levels: developmental
and practical.
“Is this a child who knows when to ask for help vs. trying to solve
problems on their own?” she says. For example, one child might
call for help with a seemingly silly question: “I can’t get the top
off the baby food jar.” But another child might simply say, “I didn’t
feed her because I couldn’t get the top off the baby food jar.”
If they’re on their own, will the sitters know which problems to
solve on their own and when to call Mom or Dad for help? Which
brings up another key point: Ward says the sitter’s own parent
needs to be “on absolute standby with a cell phone.”
For practical skills, she says, baby sitters need to know what’s
required at the various ages of their charges. For infants, they need
to be comfortable with diapering, picking up and holding a baby, and
feeding it. Toddlers need absolute supervision. Older children need
to be entertained a bit, perhaps with games or arts and crafts,
although today’s electronic and computer games have taken some of
that burden off of baby sitters.
Aksoy says that sitters need to understand a bit about what each
age group is like. She recalls that one of her daughter’s friends
couldn’t understand why a 2-year-old wouldn’t just sit and play by
himself.
The practical skills, Ward says, can be learned quickly, but the
developmental skills are more problematic. However, a carefully
supervised, appropriate situation can help the sitter there, too.
“There clearly are benefits to baby sitting,” Ward says. “It teaches
problem-solving, responsibility, how to respond to emergencies.
But to say, ‘Go do it’ without giving them the skills they need is not
good for anybody.”
Experienced parents have eased
their children into baby-sitting.
Sarah Sturgill of Parkville began by watching a neighbor’s
school-age child for an hour or two after school when her own
mother was available.
“I was home _ it was a neighbor and it was only for an hour,” says
Gail Sturgill, Sarah’s mom. “Then she baby-sat for the same lady on
Saturday night.”
Gail knew that Sarah, who was then 13, was ready for baby-sitting
because she was more responsible about her schoolwork. “She was
doing well in school with good grades,” she says. “She wanted to be
more independent; she wanted more responsibility.”
“By that age they should have that sense of responsibility, and you
want to encourage it,” she says. “But we were always available and
close by.” Now at 17, Sarah still has several families for whom she
regularly baby-sits.

Sandy Motsay of Catonsville, whose daughter Stephanie is now a
freshman at the U.S. Naval Academy, remembers when Stephanie
took a baby-sitting course and began sitting at 13. “We always left
her with a safety net of phone numbers,” she says. Sandy knew her
daughter was ready because she had watched her interact with
younger children at a vacation Bible school and as a safety patrol.
A trickier problem arises when baby sitters are asked to mind
their own siblings. At first, Sandy says, they would only leave
Stephanie with her two younger siblings for a limited time, such as
when they went out to dinner.
“We knew they’d look at her and say, ‘Go to bed _ right’” Sandy says
with a laugh.
Ward notes that a parent needs to take an honest look at the
relationship between the siblings before leaving the oldest in
charge. How much do they fight? Are they able to work out their
own differences without involving Mom? As with any baby-sitting
situation, a good apprenticeship is to employ the child as a
mother’s helper _ having them mind the younger siblings while Mom
is busy in her home office or in the garden.
In today’s world, though, it’s not just the safety of the smaller
children that’s the issue; parents also need to make sure their
child, the sitter, is safe, too.
Gail Sturgill recalls that as a teenager, she would baby-sit for
anyone, even if the family didn’t know them. But with her own
daughter, “We’ve always sort of screened all the people she’s
baby-sat for. We’ve met them first through connections, or they
were referred by friends. We won’t let her baby-sit for anyone we
don’t know.”
Aksoy agrees. “You really shouldn’t babysit for someone you or your
family doesn’t know. That’s just asking for trouble.”
Another concern is getting the sitter home at night. Although Sarah
Sturgill sat for neighbors, either they drove her home or her
parents picked her up since they didn’t want her walking alone
after dark.
One nightmare scenario, Aksoy says, is if the parent who is
supposed to drive the sitter home has been drinking. In that case,
she says, sitters should call their own parents with a pre-arranged
code word to alert them.
If a sitter is uneasy for any reason on the job, he or she should let
someone at home know immediately. Perhaps there’s a large dog
that growls when anyone is near his food bowl.
“Talk to your parents,” Aksoy tells the sitters. Kids might say yes
to a baby-sitting job but quickly find themselves in over their head
_ alone with that intimidating dog and a 2-year-old.
Before a sitter takes a new job he or she should meet with the
parents and the children and the pets, and make an index card of all
pertinent information. Perhaps that dog can simply be left in the
basement if the sitter is not comfortable.
And remember, while an older sibling from a large family might
easily handle a complex baby-sitting assignment, a somewhat shy
only child might not want to start out baby-sitting five small kids.
To find baby-sitting courses in your area, check online at
www.redcross-cmd.org.